Pepys' Diary: The Great Drought

The Lord's Day. Decided not to ride into into town, as the horse was all of a lather when I rode him home yestereve. The heat has persisted for days and it is damnable hot, even at night. Far too hot for congress with Elizabeth.

Did stroll to *MM*'s house to view his plans for the building of fine properties to the north of the City. He says he will deliver fresh water to each house and remove the waste to the Thames. Madness of course. Neither the Sovereign nor the Lord Mayor would commit funds to such a venture. He hopes to find a Speculator who will invest, perhaps Lord Southern who, it appears, has money in abundance. However, he is an avaricious rogue and would needs be kept under constant scrutiny

On my perambulation thence to the Crowne. I did espy many citizens were cooking their meats on braziers. The Lord Mayor has warned against this as many houses are huddled together in closes and they are tinder dry. I fear that London is primed for a Great Conflagration.

At the Crowne, spoke with the pamphleteers Littlejohn and Hitchens. They had much to say about the two persons hoping to replace the disgraced First Lord of the Treasury. They regard both as small beer and not suitable for public life. Indeed, many find their promises to protect the public purse as pie in the sky. I doubt that they could even lead geese to market.

Had a fine veal pie with Irish Stout and thence home. May it rain soon.

Image from Pixabay by ArtTower:

https://pixabay.com/illustrations/london-westminster-bridge-building-4115740/

Great works of literature nipped in the bud

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, should join a monastery.

'You're right, Romeo, our dads hate each other, let's not go there'.

Oedipus: 'I always insist on a DNA test before the first date'.

'There he is - hey Godot, you're early'.

Second rate opium, I'm afraid, Coleridge, and you have an appointment with some bores from Porlock some time today.

In the beginning was the word, and the word was 'F*ck - its too dark here to write'.

'It was the best of ties, it was the worst of ties'.

'Call me Trishmale'.

'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a Ford Capri with a slab of concrete in the boot'.

'BERNARDO: Who's there?

FRANCISCO: Delivery for Babs.'

'Lolita, light of my life, federal agent pretending to be 12'.

'Josef K, the European Court of Human Rights has given you the all clear'.

'Sure, Oliver, have some more, you little sh!t, and may you croak of type 2 diabetes before you're 30'.

'In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of little worms and an oozy smell. Which was unfortunate, because such smells repel the invasive giant sand worms from the planet Arrakis, and hobbits are very tasty'.

'Mr. Christian, you are out of order'. 'Sorry Captain, it will not happen again'.

'It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen, but then they fixed them'.

'When shall we three meet again? King's Head next Tuesday?'

'Last night I dreamt of underlay again'.

'The Martians have landed near Woking - quick - hide the Lemsip!'

Contributions from and hat tips to: Granger, Dogular, SteveB, FlashArry, & StewartBarclay,