Great works of literature nipped in the bud



It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, should join a monastery.


'You're right, Romeo, our dads hate each other, let's not go there'.


Oedipus: 'I always insist on a DNA test before the first date'.


'There he is - hey Godot, you're early'.


Second rate opium, I'm afraid, Coleridge, and you have an appointment with some bores from Porlock some time today.


In the beginning was the word, and the word was 'F*ck - its too dark here to write'.


'It was the best of ties, it was the worst of ties'.


'Call me Trishmale'.


'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a Ford Capri with a slab of concrete in the boot'.


'BERNARDO: Who's there?

FRANCISCO: Delivery for Babs.'


'Lolita, light of my life, federal agent pretending to be 12'.


'Josef K, the European Court of Human Rights has given you the all clear'.


'Sure, Oliver, have some more, you little sh!t, and may you croak of type 2 diabetes before you're 30'.


'In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of little worms and an oozy smell. Which was unfortunate, because such smells repel the invasive giant sand worms from the planet Arrakis, and hobbits are very tasty'.


'Mr. Christian, you are out of order'. 'Sorry Captain, it will not happen again'.


'It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen, but then they fixed them'.


'When shall we three meet again? King's Head next Tuesday?'


'Last night I dreamt of underlay again'.


'The Martians have landed near Woking - quick - hide the Lemsip!'




Contributions from and hat tips to: Granger, Dogular, SteveB, FlashArry, & StewartBarclay,

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