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Sydalg - Sep 14, 2023
1912. Guardian leads with "Rare Endangered Iceberg Feared Damaged After Collision With Ship".
1933. Austrian immigrant overcomes prejudice and bigotry to become Chancellor of Germany.
1936. Edward VIII forced to abdicate in favour of brother after Bank of England accidentally puts George's face on 1,000,000,000 pound notes.
1938. Neville Chamberlain describes meal he shared with Hitler. "Peas in our thyme" remark widely misunderstood.
1939. Berlin branch of WH Smith notes sharp rise in sale of Polish phrasebooks.
1940. French become Surrender Champions of Europe and hold title for four years running.
1945. Führexit.
1945. Surviving residents of Nagasaki reassured to know sudden spike in temperature not due to climate change.
1956. Busload of bewildered Dynorod men stranded in Egypt due to "sewers crisis" mixup.
1960. Unbanning of Lady Chatterley fuels huge rise in demand for rough rural sex. Harold Macmillan tells gamekeepers: "You've never had it so good".
1969. In US, millions burn draft cards to avoid being sent to moon. On landing, Armstrong utters famous words, "It's grim up here but at least it's not Vietnam".
1980. Millions turn out to celebrate election of first Geriatrican-American president.
2001. "Three-point turn" to replace "Dodge the Twin Towers" in test for Saudi pilot licence.
Journalists are struggling to find metaphors to sum up the government's appalling handling of the ongoing RAAC crisis.
One leader writer for The Guardian commented, 'There's just nothing to work with, the government is crumbling over this thing, slowly deteriorating and falling apart and we just can't link it to this failing school infrastructure story. They're probably all pissed at another bring a bottle party'
While another reporter observed, 'We are literally racking our brains on coming up with zingers, I mean what do we know about Reinforced Autoclaved Aerated Concrete, we're not engineers who think they're funny.'
A colleague added, 'The Prime Minister has poor support and needs replacing, surely old construction material issues can be combined with that for a catchy one liner. It's so frustrating. '
After several cups of coffee and staring at his blank screen for two hours The Editor finally said: ' I know what about this as our front page? Super-Fragile-Bad-Logistics-Sunak-is-atrocious.'
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