Tired of reality or the brutal dystopias served up by TV and film? Why not try a fantasy land to visit or even retire your thoughts to!
Of course, there are plenty of options available but only Newsbiscuit gives you the lowdown to keep you grounded on your flight of fancy.
Cloud Cuckoo Land
One word nowadays - overcrowded. People who come here tend to stay. Easy access, which is why it’s overrun.
Biggest plus – Ease of getting there.
Biggest minus - Not a great place if you’re wanting informed discussion. Increasingly full of people you disagree with, especially MAGA and Reform types saying you’re there but they aren’t.
We say: Skip this trip. Despite superficial similarities, at least Florida has the Everglades.
NB rating *
The Land of Oz
Much has been made of the very short working hours and the treatment of the indigenous Munchkins. However, we talked to one less content citizen with a face of a non-standard colour, who wished to remain anonymous. Journey there a nightmare but main central highway easy to follow. Absolute monarch, albeit loved by almost all the inhabitants.
Biggest plus - The Emerald City.
Biggest minus - Treatment of Wicca minorities and the songs.
We say: fine if the buildings are green, just not if your face is.
NB Rating ****
Never Never Land
More for the kids this one - a real adventure tourism hotspot. Inhabitants seem to be ridiculously young, without apparently any drug or surgical assistance. However, not the kind of sophisticated adult night life you might want with no restaurants or trendy bars. Some pirate activity on the coast. Transport also difficult. Treatment of indigenous Indians not great and sceptic adults have had an adverse impact on the fairy population.
Biggest plus: Less of an absolute monarchy than Oz or Narnia (although still no sign of elections).
Biggest minus: Night flights only.
We say: Drop the kids off for this one, although defo not at the similarly named Neverland ranch.
NB rating ***
Narnia
Absolute monarchy again but this time the ruler actually fancies himself as God. Generally good on diversity but treatment of Wicca practitioners not so impressive, nor for those fond of year-round winter sports. Transport straightforward once you’ve located one of the very limited number of portals. This was intended to keep the number of visitors down but there still seems to be a vast number of Americans, in particular, all complaining how it doesn’t look like the movies. Probably most in danger of war breaking out - was the Last Battle really the final one or will disaffection break out again as it has several times in its history?
Biggest plus: No flights required.
Biggest minus: Someone could put the “war” back into wardrobe at any time.
We say: The Lion King was better as a movie (the original animated one not the crappy 2019 rehash, obvs).
NB rating ***
Image: ImaArtist - Pixabay
Flights have been cancelled across Southern Europe as aviation staff undertake industrial action. That has meant continental Europeans being forced to share seating areas, toilets, and feelings of impatience with angry and sometimes sober British holidaymakers.
'Usually we only see them as we pass the terminal Wetherspoons,' said one Parisian en route to Prague to view a church ceiling. 'But this time we had to share contiguous spaces in real time.'
'Our children were crying,' reported a Latvian taking his family on a wild seed hunt in far-flung fjords. 'We have watched documentaries about British holidaymakers, but never thought we’d be forced to breathe the same bathroom air.'
It is understood that airlines usually allocate their oldest flying stock to ferry the animal-like Brits from Luton to Alicante, but the strikes have led to last-minute changes in logistical operations and the possibility of people from Huddersfield occupying planes unlikely to crash.
'If I’d known we would have been surrounded by people from the United Kingdom, I’d have taken out extra insurance,' said a cultured eye-glass polisher from Strasbourg worried that the strikes would render him late for a penny-farthing and Greek lantern exhibition in the Bay of Haribonesia.
Without tannoy instructions to board planes, Brits were seen shedding clothes and helplessly urinating where they stood. Meanwhile, males among the island tribe broke out into time-killing fights while others frustrated at the lengthy waits, and were seen demanding their human rights, free chips, and wireless lager.
Picture credit: Wix AI