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Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak is hoping to turn his fortunes around by appearing in the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas extravaganza.


His campaign team apparently had the idea that if he danced with Vasudhara, the six-armed Indian goddess, he would wow TV audiences around the world and gain the confidence to meet his counterparts on the world stage. But rehearsals with Vasudhara didn’t go as planned, as Sunak was inevitably undecided by which of Vasudhara’s hands to take during the fast-paced Pasodoble that was intended to be his pièce de résistance.


Vasudhara is said to have told the Strictly choreographer that she doubted Sunak would know which hand to wank with if the other was tied behind his back, as she pulled out of the show.


An alternative partner for Sunak has been found and the dance downgraded to a slow-paced, two-step waltz, which if Rishi can remember which foot to lead with, may allow the event to go ahead.



First published 23 Sep 2023


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'We got the idea from "Have I Got News For You?" ' said a spokesman. 'When Angus Deayton had to leave because of the, erm, cocaine allegations, they brought in guest presenters. We’ve been doing the same with our Prime Ministers.'


The Conservative Party’s plan is to allow the children of wealthy donors to each do a week as "Intern PM" .


'Oh, they’d run the country, much as Liz is doing now,' said the spokesman. 'It will look good on their CVs and the chances are the pound might rally a bit.'


Keir Starmer described the idea as ‘interesting’ and asked if there would be an age limit.



First published 9 Oct 2022


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