What was Ukraine wearing just before the war?

The Trump Plan™ US Peace Negotiation team was just askin’, you know, what Ukraine was wearing, just to get the full context of this special military …..situation.

They also wondered if, back in 2022, was Ukraine acting a bit loose and being provocative in any way? Russia did see them flirting with NATO and Ukraine must know what Russia is like and if anything, they possibly definitely brought this upon themselves. That seemed to have made Russia understandably a little protective, and then they passionately lashed out, so they are kinda, if not totally, responsible for all this. 

Sooooo, to start proper peace talks, they think Russia needs an apology from Ukraine, otherwise they are being unreasonable. Remember, you have people that are very fine people, on both sides™.

Picture credit: Wix AI

Absolutely everything fifty-year-old woman does attributed to menopause

Susan Perrin is not sure that she exists as an individual any more, since everything she has done, felt or experienced recently has been attributed to her cessation of ovarian follicular activity rather than her enduring or situational personality traits or fleeting preferences.

Want to buy a hat? Menopause.

Grumpy at a colleague adding big things to an agenda five minutes before a meeting? Menopause.

An urge to track down tutti frutti ice cream like that made by Gino Ginelli in the 1980s? Menopause.

Drawn a picture of a cock and balls with marker pen under a subway? Menopause.

Written a rock opera about the design and introduction of the Bic four colour pen? Menopause.

Developed a liking for salt and vinegar crisp sandwiches? Menopause.

Think garden centre prices for fruit cake are too expensive? Menopause.

Dreaming about being chased by a giant stick of rhubarb holding Margaret Thatcher’s handbag? Menopause.

HRT patch not sticking to thigh? Menopause (okay maybe that one is).

Picture credit: Wix AI

Trump stunned as Ukraine signs minerals deal with Europe

Donald Trump is reported to be furious that Ukraine has signed a security-for-minerals deal with a consortium of Europe countries.  His favoured negotiating tactics of unpredictability, rudeness, arrogance and trash-talk have not paid off on this occasion.  

Sources close to the President say that he is ‘incandescent with rage’ and that he will ‘make Europe pay’.  His main criticism is that they have not respected the negotiation steps set out in his seminal book, ‘The Art of the Deal’.  He is quoted, by an unreliable source, as saying that ‘those Europeans just don’t understand how capitalism works’.

Donald Trump is now planning punitive sanctions against Europe for making him look like a twat

Image: Pixabay/xusenru