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Fox News Verryiffy Team have found out why the IDF are so far behind with reporting back on the hundreds of untoward incidents Israel said would be looked into. The explanation is very simple. Only one person, Aaron Blewsky, has been assigned to investigate. Not only that, Aaron has been on compassionate leave for most of the last three years due to ingrown toenails.


Fox tracked down Private Blewsky to the apartment he lives in with a magnificent view of the West Bank, a view only spoiled by the nearby acres of uprooted olive and lemon trees and the rubble of former homes of Palestinians who have volunteered to go and live with relatives in various towns.


Blewsky complained bitterly that his ingrown toenails have prevented him in helping to send Palestinians on their way. He described himself as a martyr to his feet.


Speaking through a Russian-English interpreter, Blewsky explained how he had migrated from Moscow four years ago and is still learning Hebrew and has no plans to learn Arabic. Asked if his lack of familiarity with the area's two main languages was a barrier to investigations, he asked if we had heard of Google Translate?


We asked if he felt that when he was able to go to work, he was able to make progress with investigations? Blewsky acknowledged that his car was not the most reliable and he had not always made it to the Tel Aviv office assigned to him


We asked about speaking to IDF personnel implicated in the incidents. Blewsky had driven to one barracks but after speaking with a soldier found his car had been turned upside down. After that, he vowed only to work from his office and home.


‘So have you been able to make any progress with investigation working from your apartment?’


‘Unfortunately months of work on one case I found time for was eaten by my dog.’


image by grok




Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu apologised today for the destruction of four ambulances in north London.


The ambulances belonged to Hatzolah, a voluntary organisation that provides healthcare services for the local Jewish community. Unfortunately, it’s thought the IDF’s intelligence division confused them with Hezbollah.


Netanyahu has apologised for the mistake, though he also pointed out that by the standards of IDF precision strikes, hitting London instead of Lebanon was relatively accurate.


'Of course we’re shocked and upset,' said a spokesman for north London’s Jewish community. 'Then again, the actions of Israel have always been enormously damaging to diaspora Jews, and it’s never made us reconsider our unthinking support. So I can’t imagine it will now,'


Another spokesman said it was one of the darkest days in recent Jewish history, though it turned out he hadn’t heard about the ambulances, and was talking about Spurs losing 3-0 to Nottingham Forest.



Image credit: Wix AI

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