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Old lady arrested for calling her cat Palestine Action

"We are taking into custody one Ena Sharples, 73 years old, of Arnos Grove," WPC Merkava of Hampshire Police told reporters outside the woman's Portsmouth home, "on suspicion of having a cat called Palestine Action.


"Neighbours told us she renamed the animal in August and since then has been coming out of her house with a handful of Dreamies every day and shouting 'Palestine Action!' repeatedly, up and down the street.


"You don't get round the Anti-terrorism Act that easily. Besides, we on the force think Palestine Action is a stupid name for a cat.


"We are also confiscating Ms Sharples' goldfish, Shining Path, and three white mice which she says are the Baader-Meinhof Red Army Faction. I honestly believe this old lady has a screw loose.


"People should give their pets law-abiding, inoffensive names," WPC Merkava continued, as a Hampshire Police SWAT team battered down Ena Sharples' front door.


"For example, I have two rottweilers called Mossad and IDF."


image from pixabay

IHRA definition of antisemitism to include phrase “except when we do it”

The International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance announced today that their benchmark definition of antisemitism, like the American Constitution, may subject to a number of amendments.


Chief among these will be the controversial assertion that genocide doesn’t count as genocide “when we do i


”I think it’s perfectly clear that the phrase ‘Never again’ always included an unspoken ‘to us’ at the end,” said spokesman Benny Paskudnik. “Just as Orwell’s ‘All animals are equal’ always carried the implication ‘but some animals are more equal than others’.


“Besides, what we’re doing simply isn’t genocide. It’s an entirely proportionate response to the October 7th attacks, which simply happens to have killed 50 times as many people, almost all of whom had nothing to do with the attacks.


“Above all, I must reiterate that any comparison of the Israeli state to the Nazi regime is inherently antisemitic. We really need that one, since we’re behaving so much like the Nazis these days.”


When asked why he was using the word “we” to describe the Israeli state, Paskudnik replied “Well what did you think, that we were an independent body? There really is one born every minute.”



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