Home Office announces new 5 Star Migrant Hotel experience

Home officials have announced that whilst most migrant hotels will close over the coming months, a new 5 Star migrant hotel experience will be available for 'our most special guests'.

"Whilst we are trying to shift focus away from the political and actual cost of the small boats", said Jez Danworth, a home office spokesperson, "we are today announcing a service for migrants that come across on massive boats with significantly more resources than those that came before."

Mr Danworth detailed the service that, when the massive boat gets into UK waters, will include a meet and greet with a named Government official; a 5 star hotel experience (including a Spa and wellness service); preferential tax arrangements on all UK investment; and a 'look the other way' policy for some of the migrants more 'earthly needs'.

The service is likely to be available before Christmas and, due to increasing demand, has been made available to our neighbours from the west as well as the east.

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ICE has freed up jobs that shutdown furloughed workers can take, says Trump

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Lego’s new Asylum Hotel set is their most expensive yet.

Lego has introduced its most expensive set this week, announcing the release of the Lego Ultimate Collection Series Asylum Hotel. Priced at £2bn it is Lego’s first-ever item to cost ten figures.

The 9,000-plus piece set means there is no shortage of bricks for their Lego rioters to lob at the Lego Police..

The new set is a vertical diorama set, has more than 15 rooms that depict many iconic scenes from the on going issues, “No Hope,” and “Return of the Immigrants,” according to the Reform Party’s website.

The set also contains 38 mini figures, including Nigel Farage, Lee Anderson and Dame Andrea Jenkyns in a sparkly blue jumpsuit, the company said on its website.

Lego’s previous set that was its most expensive was the part built HS2 railway, a 7,541-piece set which broke all records, costing several million pounds eight years ago.

Roughly 15 per cent of Lego’s sets are marketed for responsible adults, which rules out most of the Reform Party.

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