The Five Eyes intelligence sharing between the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada and New Zealand is likely to be reduced due to fears that one of the alliance might not be trustworthy enough. As a result a breakaway group headed by the UK and including all of the countries in Five eyes bar the one headed by a lunatic will share intelligence between themselves and provide only disinformation to the excluded member.
A working name for the new group is 'Four Eyes' and it appears Keir Starmer thinks it will be a popular name, especially as he has been known by that moniker since the General Election where he started to sport designer glasses.
The excluded member, which has recently adopted a stance of denying providing necessary intelligence to allies is known to the Four Eyes group as 'Big Nose'. Keir Starmer has denied that he is involved in a playground spat between Four Eyes and Big Nose.
image from pixabay
Brian Smethurst, from Bognor Regis, who has been watching University Challenge since its first episode in 1962, admitted today he has still to answer even one single question correctly. Yet this hasn't dampened his enthusiasm for the show.
He said: 'I once thought I'd actually cracked in 1981, when I said Caravaggio was an Italian motor scooter... but turned out it was an espresso machine.'
Brian's wife Delia commented: 'Bless him. He loves it and even has a tattoo of original question master, Bamber Gascoigne, on his left buttock. He's vowed to have one of Amol Rajan on the other side should he finally succeed.'
Meanwhile Brian's quest goes on, although Delia isn't holding out much hope for her hapless husband. 'I can't see him ever doing it, because so far he's spent over twenty thousand pounds entering those competitions on ITV and he's yet to get even one of those answers right.'
Photo by Vadim Sherbakov on Unsplash