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British tennis number one, Jack Draper is to star in a sequel to Waterworld, the 1995 post-apocalyptic classic directed by and starring Kevin Costner. Wearing his menacing sleeveless black t-shirt and matching black shorts and socks, Draper will play Deacon, the demonic character played by Dennis Hopper in the original film. Deacon heads up the Smokers, a pirate gang who travel the earth on motorised aqua-bikes looking for land on which to play tennis.


'It’s a total change of direction for me,' Draper told reporters. 'A casting director approached me at Eastbourne and said she really liked my look. Next minute I’ve got this script in my hand, and I’m trying out an aqua-bike at Pinewood, and yeah, it’s all crazy but cool too.'


The movie deal explains Jack Draper's non-appearance at Wimbledon this year. Waterworld 2 will also star Annabel Croft as the love interest. Croft is expected to reprise her Strictly success and waltz around the bouncy bit of Kevin Costner’s make-shift trimaran with Cam Norrie. Norrie will play Costner’s character, the Mariner, who sails the world looking for a tennis tournament that a Brit can actually win.



Image credit: ChatGPT


After his disappointing exit from Wimbledon, sports journalists across the country are feverishly checking Jack Draper's genealogical records in an attempt to find any of his antecedents who weren't English.


Max Slyme from the Daily Mail said: 'We perked up when we found Jack had a great great great uncle Hamish on his father's side. We'd already come up with our headline - Dour Scot crashes out in third round - only to find out this Hamish was born in Thames Ditton.


'But you have to admit, it looks suspicious and has given us hope. We'll keep digging even if we have to go back to the Stone Age. There's got to have been someone born north of Hadrian's Wall in Draper's family tree. There must be.'




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