Empty benches in the House of Commons and a new game called ‘Where’s Boris?’ have led to calls for MPs to be required to prove that they are ‘available for government’ every two weeks.
'I know it’s a shitshow', said a spokesman 'and you might think we’re better off without people like Boris Johnson and Liz Truss, but they’re being paid 84 grand just to turn up and snooze. It’s only 30 weeks a year for Christ’s sake, even schoolkids have to put in more time'.
Jacob Rees-Mogg was unavailable for comment - which is odd, considering his obsession with getting civil servants back to the office.
Westminster staff have defended the move, pointing out that ‘in a little over a year quite a few current MPs will find themselves actually unemployed. They should treat this as a dummy run, given that many of them are literally unemployable’.
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