From the Newsbiscuit archives: the 1960s and '70s

1962: Thaw in East-West relations as Kennedy and Khrushchev bond over amazing 'Cuban Missile Armageddon' video game.

1966: Referee Neville Chamberlain disallows Geoff Hurst goal against Germany for sake of 'peace in our time'.

1966: Colour television introduced. Couch potatoes discover existence of red, green, blue.

1967: Six-Day War. Israeli soldiers go on strike for five-day wars.

1967: Summer of love and drugs. Mary Whitehouse warns latest Cliff Richard song 'written under influence of Nurofen'.

1969: Festival of Drugs, Mud and STDs a surprise success when rebranded as 'Woodstock'.

1969: 'One giant f*ckup for mankind', says Neil Armstrong as he lands on Mars by mistake.

1973: Queues of panicking customers form outside sex shops as baby-oil crisis kicks in.

1973: 'Britannia caduca est!' wails four-year-old Jacob Rees-Mogg on hearing Britain has joined EEC.

1977: King of Rock and Roll hires 300-pound Elvis impersonator to die and be buried in his place.

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

Sauron believed ready to cross the house

Following the latest Conservative MP, Natalie Elphick, to cross the house to join Labour other high-profile Tories have agreed to enter into discussions with the Labour Party, with a view to crossing the floor.

'Sir Keir Starmer is indeed in conversation with some notable Tory MPs,' confirmed a spokesman today.  'Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg is hoping to become the shadow trans spokesperson, Jonathan Gullis would love to be the shadow minister for common sense and Sir Keir agrees that Michael Gove is multi-faceted.  In fact, everybody agrees on that point,' he said.

A spokesperson for Suella Braverman has denied that she is considering joining Labour as 'it is looking way too right wing' for her.

Rumours that recently deposed MP for Mordor, Sauron, was considering joining the Labour team in time for the next election as their candidate for Middle Earth have been downplayed, though.  A spokes-orc for Sauron said, 'Sauron sees himself more of a Lib Dem type of guy.'

Photo by Douglas Bagg on Unsplash

Tories told to embrace opportunities of Pexit

Several Conservative MPs have been encouraged to explore the many opportunities offered by leaving Parliament.

Mr Rees-Mogg said, "We spend 80,000 guineas a year on an MP, that would be better spent on the NHS; imagine how many leeches that could pay for?"

"I can't see any downsides to Pexit", said David Davies, "Only considerable upsides. I'm planning to offer my services as a consultant. I'm assuming I'll still receive my salary and can continue to use my Westminster Office after I leave parliament?"

Image: Pixabay/publicdomainpictures