top of page
Search

Project: Evil - the ultimate guide to project managing the end of the world


Before Musk, Trump and Putin, B L O'Feld led the field in World Domination.


Barry Liam O'Feld, CEO of B L O'Feld Megalomaniac Industries (BLOMI), wants a super evil secret lair building in a remote South Seas location to destroy the planet or possibly worse, so he needs a project manager; which is fortunate as Brian wants a job. Unfortunately Brian is a catering manager, so naturally he lies. Luckily for Brian, lying is a core value for O'Feld Industries.


In Project: Evil follow the progress of Brian’s project meeting by meeting, observing the interaction of the various stakeholders from the project sponsor to the humble henchpersons employed as cannon fodder as Brian struggles to keep the project on track. Not only does he have to cope with the warped logic of a company that doesn’t value its own life let alone that of its enemies, he has to deal with the unwelcome advances of the octogenarian Secret Service agent James Bund while also somehow project managing the Christmas office party as O’Feld rushes to beat his peer megalomaniacs such as Doktor Negatif and Gold Digit to be the first to destroy the planet.


If project management has ever seemed a mystery, a black art or even (improbably) a dull activity then Project: Evil may be the only book that will make you realise just how funny the subject can be. It may even help you understand why the bad guys feel inclined to run around in sh!t coloured pyjamas when the going gets tough. Recommended reading for all project managers and sufferers of their art form everywhere.


Ray Sullivan is a writer and editor for Newsbiscuit. He has ten novels published ranging in genres from comedy, science fiction and thrillers.



Available in ebook - £1.99


and


paperback format £5.99


Project: Evil - the ultimate guide to project managing the end of the world


Before Musk, Trump and Putin, B L O'Feld led the field in World Domination.


Barry Liam O'Feld, CEO of B L O'Feld Megalomaniac Industries (BLOMI), wants a super evil secret lair building in a remote South Seas location to destroy the planet or possibly worse, so he needs a project manager; which is fortunate as Brian wants a job. Unfortunately Brian is a catering manager, so naturally he lies. Luckily for Brian, lying is a core value for O'Feld Industries.


In Project: Evil follow the progress of Brian’s project meeting by meeting, observing the interaction of the various stakeholders from the project sponsor to the humble henchpersons employed as cannon fodder as Brian struggles to keep the project on track. Not only does he have to cope with the warped logic of a company that doesn’t value its own life let alone that of its enemies, he has to deal with the unwelcome advances of the octogenarian Secret Service agent James Bund while also somehow project managing the Christmas office party as O’Feld rushes to beat his peer megalomaniacs such as Doktor Negatif and Gold Digit to be the first to destroy the planet.


If project management has ever seemed a mystery, a black art or even (improbably) a dull activity then Project: Evil may be the only book that will make you realise just how funny the subject can be. It may even help you understand why the bad guys feel inclined to run around in sh!t coloured pyjamas when the going gets tough. Recommended reading for all project managers and sufferers of their art form everywhere.


Ray Sullivan is a writer and editor for Newsbiscuit. He has ten novels published ranging in genres from comedy, science fiction and thrillers.



Available in ebook - £1.99


and


paperback format £5.99


New Bond villain to be parody of Elon Musk

ree

With Amazon’s acquisition of the creative rights to the James Bond franchise, it was revealed today that CEO Jeff Bezos intends to take revenge on his great rival Elon Musk by basing the next Bond villain on him.


'There is precedent for this,' said an Amazon spokesman. 'It’s no secret that the evil prince in Shrek was designed to look like Disney CEO Michael Eisner.


'But in this case - though we’re not ruling out casting an actor with a fat face and freakishly large puppet head - it will be more about satirising Musk’s personality.


'The villain, provisionally named Noel Aroma, will be a maverick businessman who uses his influence to get close to a particularly dumb American president, who for the moment we’re calling Danny Fart.


'By offering to take some of the more difficult aspects of government off the president’s hands, Aroma worms his way into the heart of Washington and gains completely unfettered power, in exactly the way Bezos would like to but hasn’t yet managed,” concluded the spokesman, before wondering whether he was supposed to read out that last bit.


Leaked details suggest that Bond will be helped in his efforts to bring down the evil super villain by Aroma's ex-girlfriend Jade Listened, embittered that he had the sense not to marry her.


'I mean, look at me - I’m super hot, right?' she wails. 'Sure, I shit the bed once in a while, but what’s that compared to looking like this? And it’s not like he had to wash the sheets himself.”


The climactic scene will see Bond confront Aroma in his space station, from which he plans to launch a virus that will kill everyone on Earth with a normal-sized head.


'As for the ending, we might have Bond preventing the launch just in time,' said the spokesman. 'Or we could just have the rocket blow up when he tries to launch it - this is Elon Musk, after all.'


Picture credit: Wix AI

bottom of page