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Epstein Island sold to Bond villain






The estate agent handling the sale said: 'It's quite a niche market, most buyers don't need that many dungeons. It would certainly work as an evil lair, as you could easily convert the 'pleasure pit' into a shark tank.


'We did have some interest from a Royal buyer, but he was £12m short. Bill Clinton and Bill Gates both made inquiries, but that was to make sure they had left no fingerprints.


'It's got fascinating history and an even more interesting FBI file. But we do advise the new owner not to use uv lighting in 90% of the rooms'.


Next Dr. Who/James Bond shortlist down to 50 million



The entire adult population of the UK is still in the running for both iconic roles, all with the necessary acting talent, all except for James Corden.


The fact that anyone could be considered, is a tribute to diversity casting but also a comment on how sh$t Idris Elba’s agent is. Asked about the millions listed, one Producer said: ‘That’s slightly shorter than an NHS waiting list’.


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