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The FBI has published its long-awaited report into paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, concluding that he didn’t have a client list and that Prince Andrew’s £12 million donation to Virginia Giuffre was ‘an act of selfless generosity’ on a par with that time Jeffrey Archer gave a prostitute £2,000 because he thought she looked like she could use a holiday.
The FBI has also discovered that JFK blew his own brain out as his motorcade drove round Dallas, Donald Trump ‘definitely’ isn’t a Russian asset and Father Christmas is real.
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