Today at number 10 Downing Street, Sir Keir Starmer set out his renewed priorities for breakfast.
Emphasising that he wasn’t going back on earlier statements about what he likes to eat in the morning, merely renewing his priorities with perhaps more emphasis on some aspects than others, Sir Keir said it was time to completely rethink the way we approach breakfast.
He rejected the old paradigm which said that you had to choose between cereal or a cooked breakfast, and what he called the “defeatist thinking” that eggs could be either boiled or scrambled but not both. When it was pointed out that there were no eggs anyway as he’d forgotten buy them, he reminded his wife that this was always an aspiration, not a commitment, and he hadn’t been aware of the disastrous state of his personal finances until opening his wallet at the checkout in Budgens.
He concluded by saying that surely brown toast was really just white toast that had been toasted for too long, at which point he noticed that his wife was no longer there, and neither were the suitcases he’d noticed in the hall on his way down.
