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Pepys' Diary: The King is greatly vexed

Made way by coach to the Spaniard's Inn in Hampstead. There to speak with some of the King's counsellors away from the hubbub and prying eyes. I learn that the King is greatly displeased with his brother, the former Duke of York. News has come again from the Colonies in America that he stayed many weeks with the Philanderer, Epstein, on his private island.

It is said the the Prince did consort and cavort with young maidens out of the presence of any duenna. It is rumoured that he "did grope for trout in a peculiar river". Whether he did or no, his presence at Court is still denied. Wise heads do say that he will be exiled to America, as was the King's youngest son.

Further afield Russia is still warring with the Slavs. They exchange cannonades every day. The populace have been reduce to living in holes in the ground. Likewise, in the Holy land. The Arabs are held at seige without food or water. A blockade keeps away all possible assistance. The whole land is in turmoil. Some fear that the prophesied Apocalypse as revealed to St John will occur in this year.

What fearful and vexing times we do live in!




Laurence Fox ‘could have been King’ if not for racist slurs



Former actor Laurence Fox is widely believed to have been on track to be the next Batman, to win a Nobel Prize and to be crowned King of England until some people accused him of racism online.


‘The Nobel Committee were on the phone every other day’, a fan told NewsBiscuit. ‘And then Queen Elizabeth died. Not widely known, but she thought Laurence should have had the throne. She was a big fan of “Lewis”, you see. The Batman role would have been perfect for him – he can actually fly, which would have saved quite a bit on CGI’.


Fox is a working-class lad from Harrow (school) who went into the family business much in the manner of boy miners or chimney sweeps, except that his family business is acting.


Fox stunned professional scientists during lockdown by demonstrating that an uneducated man can do his own research on social media much faster than a PhD with a lab and some integrity. It isn’t clear whether he was in line for the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine – which was, instead, awarded to Katalin Karikó and Drew Weissman for developing mRNA vaccines against COVID-19 – or if they were going to give him all the Nobel Prizes as a job lot.


All of this stopped when those people used the R word.


A lesser actor will now be hired to play Batman, which will be as much a loss to the arts as it will to Fox’s bank balance. We can only hope that his genius is eventually recognised.


image from pixabay

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