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  • Writer's pictureSully

Laurence Fox ‘could have been King’ if not for racist slurs



Former actor Laurence Fox is widely believed to have been on track to be the next Batman, to win a Nobel Prize and to be crowned King of England until some people accused him of racism online.


‘The Nobel Committee were on the phone every other day’, a fan told NewsBiscuit. ‘And then Queen Elizabeth died. Not widely known, but she thought Laurence should have had the throne. She was a big fan of “Lewis”, you see. The Batman role would have been perfect for him – he can actually fly, which would have saved quite a bit on CGI’.


Fox is a working-class lad from Harrow (school) who went into the family business much in the manner of boy miners or chimney sweeps, except that his family business is acting.


Fox stunned professional scientists during lockdown by demonstrating that an uneducated man can do his own research on social media much faster than a PhD with a lab and some integrity. It isn’t clear whether he was in line for the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine – which was, instead, awarded to Katalin Karikó and Drew Weissman for developing mRNA vaccines against COVID-19 – or if they were going to give him all the Nobel Prizes as a job lot.


All of this stopped when those people used the R word.


A lesser actor will now be hired to play Batman, which will be as much a loss to the arts as it will to Fox’s bank balance. We can only hope that his genius is eventually recognised.


image from pixabay

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