Liz Truss to put the 'disco' back into 'disconnection'

In line with her recent return from the political wilderness, Liz Truss is also planning to release a new single, Newsbiscuit has discovered. According to her publicist, the record even surpasses Theresa May's "Dancing Queen" and will put the "disco" back into "disconnection".

Newsbiscuit has printed the lyric sheet below (with apologies to Mick and David Jackson and Elmar Krohn)

Blame it on the lefties

The media’s always bleating and it wouldn’t be a bad thing

But now they’ve all gone all left wing and that's no lie

We set a mini budget and, man, we didn’t fudge it

And from that night I kissed the job goodbye

Don’t blame it on the markets

Don’t blame it on the tax cuts

Don’t blame it on the MPs

Blame it on the lefties

So we were down the khazi, (that’s why I sacked old Kwasi)

The blob of vested interests did for me

I've spent no time reflecting, I'd rather be deflecting

I just don’t “get” responsibility

Don’t blame it on the markets

Don’t blame it on the tax cuts

Don’t blame it on the MPs

Blame it on the lefties

I just can’t (woo)

I just can’t (woo)

I just can’t control those Reds

Don’t blame it on the markets, etc

image from pixabay

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story by Hokeyloki

headline by SteveB

Also from Newsbiscuit

Reality distances itself from Liz Truss

The concept of reality, although long disputed by philosophers as the difference between what is real and what is perceived, has issued a statement distancing itself from the pronouncements of former prime-minister Liz Truss.

"To be honest, she obviously finds it easier to keep her distance, so I'm returning the favour. Let's just say, it's a long, long way from where Liz Truss lives to here."

www.newsbiscuit.com

image from pixabay

1922 Committee behind Cuban Revolution

In a revelation that surprised few, left-wing Corbynites from the notorious Troskyist 1922 Committee have been revealed as being behind the Fidel Castro's Cuban revolution.

"In retrospect it was obvious." said historian Dan Snow. "When you think of the Tory Party 1922 Committee and particularly Conservative financiers, you immediately think radical, left-wing activism intent on overthrowing the Capitalist state."

Likeable and charismatic former-PM, Liz Truss, explained what she was up against; "I introduced a few sensible ideas that went against their woke, communist agenda and they moved against me personally, because I was becoming too popular - I get that a lot."

Ms Truss's comeback is to continue with a joint public appearance with Gary Glitter.

www.newsbiscuit.com

image form pixabay