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A Government think tank - The Civitas Alliance for Global Warming Policy Affairs - has proposed spending £150bn building a iceberg in the North Sea then sailing the Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier at it at full speed towards it.
"This is the kind of thing that will make Britain great again", said David Campbell Bannerman, former MEP who still wonders how Brexit somehow lost him his job.
"Did you know that the Titanic movie made 10 times what the Titanic ship cost to build? So this will be a sure-fire investment; once I work out what £150bn times 10 is, I'll let you know how much we'll get back."
Liz Truss has suggested that full speed towards the iceberg is "a bit slow".
Photo by Hubert Neufeld on Unsplash
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Former PM and alternative lettuce, Liz Truss has admitted that she's forgotten where she's the MP for.
"Of course I'd know it if I saw it, it's just slipped my mind.", explained Ms Truss. "A mix of lefty-lawyers, the Marxist 1922 Committee, the Treasury and civil service and everyone I've met have combined to deliberately distract me from less important details such as where my constituency is."
People living in her constituency have a different take on the situation. "For god's sake, don't tell her; we've been trying to keep her out of here for years." said Ron Jenkins of, never you mind.
Ms Truss is still trying to remember and said she had narrowed it down to Singapore or Narnia - "in the period of continual winter, before the lefty Pevensie children deposed the heroic queen."
Image: piviso - Pixabay
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