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Liz Truss 'most morally repulsive woman in the world' say scientists



A group of scientists who designed a computer programme which is able to calculate how morally repugnant a person is by assessing their facial characteristics, has announced Liz Truss is the world’s most morally repulsive woman, despite late pressure from Suella Braverman.


The programme is based on the study of physiognomy, and uses facial mapping techniques to work out how morally repellent a person is, and then gives a score using a rating system known as ‘The Moral Munter Scale’.


Liz Truss was said to be delighted by the news, especially when she heard the title had previously been awarded to Margaret Thatcher.


Other female moral mingers who rated highly in the study are serial killers Lucy Letby, Beverley Allitt, Myra Hindley and Rose West, and that woman who put a cat in a bin.


After spending several weeks focusing on the moral repugnance of these women, all 12 scientists who worked on the project needed to receive counselling for post-traumatic stress disorder. They are all still being kept under heavy sedation to control the night terrors and panic attacks.



Which Wizard of Oz character are you?



Priti wants to be the Wicked Witch of the West. “I like her alliterative name and also her lust for revenge. If anything, they’ve made her too nice”.


Liz thinks she’d be great as Dorothy, though her friends all call her Scarecrow behind her back as she hasn’t yet located her brain.


Several of Priti and Liz’s friends identify with the Tin Man. Indeed, they venerate him for his ability to survive without a heart, like Suella does.


Boris thinks he should be the Wizard, though most of his friends have suggested the Cowardly Lion. Was there a fridge in the film?


And finally – who would play Toto, the loyal dog? If the dog had a drink problem, maybe Nadine?


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