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As coverage of the Paris Olympics ramps up, one man has also ramped up his social media presence to inform and educate the population at large that he definitely won’t be tuning in. Taking a delightfully contrarian twist, it turns out Mick Phillips won’t be watching the Olympics and has previously expressed distaste at other popular and well ingrained cultural phenomenon.
‘I’ve effortlessly pivoted from constant updates about how I won’t be watching the Euro24 tournament to broadcasting my complete lack of interest of the Olympics.’ Phillips announced.
‘The Euro 24 stuff was actually quite engaging, I made an observation about how it’s just 11 men chasing a ball; I think there was some social commentary as well when I referenced how much they get paid compared to nurses.’
When questioned on the obvious fuck-up in his maths, Phillips responded ‘There’s 22 players in total? Well... Just goes to show I definitely wasn’t watching.’
‘I’m not embarrassed by that.’ he repeated to himself, several times.
Although Williams was unsure what the overall endgame of his posts would be, that hasn’t discouraged him from posting his lack on interest in numerous online sporting forums and news sites.
When asked if they had a response to Williams’ disinterest in the event, one sports enthusiast responded ‘Mike Phillips won’t be watching? That’s fine, that was always allowed.’
At press time, Phillips was seen posting “Who?” in several articles about a ubiquitous, internationally recognised singer.
image from pixabay
Billericay Costermonger, Barry Shyte, is a man on a mission to highlight every last Brexit Benefit that's come the UK's way since June 24th 2016.
'It's been bloody brilliant, ain't it?' enthuses the fifty-five year-old fruit and veg man from behind his stall in the marketplace. 'Some say we're in a much worse position as regards all this global trading stuff and that. But I don't buy that old pony. It's bleedin' Project Fear all over again.'
When asked to name one single tangible benefit Barry said, 'Well there's the... erm... No hang on. Ah, what about stopping all them old foreigners and refu... no I can't say that, can I? Cos of the woke brigade and do-gooders whinging on.
'Got it. I read we're now able to control the minting of sovereigns with the new King on them, or summink like that. Gotcha there mate, didn't I? Them Brussels Bureaucrats wudda put the kybosh on that. I say - Bring back Boris!'
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