Manager insisting on calling any skill a 'secret sauce'

A middle manager is annoyingly and slightly weirdly insisting on calling even the most basic competence amongst his team their 'secret sauce', it has been confirmed.

The news comes even though the man has never been a chef and has no known experience in the restaurant industry.

Mike McBride, 47, regional manager at marketing agency All Leads Lead to Leeds, keeps using the term after hearing it on a business leadership podcast.

'Well done guys on the presentation pitch today, especially Ian for those top-drawer PowerPoint animations- that's definitely your secret sauce' said McBride in a team meeting.

'Now, who is down to produce the next quarterly budget figures? Sophie, can I leave the forecasting to you - it's definitely your secret sauce', continued McBride.

'Just one more thing on the agenda - organising the next team night out', continued McBride. 'Adele, you smashed it booking our last evening out playing darts at Flights of Fancy. I think events management is kinda becoming your secret sauce'.

'Can I just throw in one humble suggestion of that new tapas bar down the road?', continued McBride.

'The chef there cooks these amazing dishes and he finishes them off with these semi-liquid reductions and emulsions which enhance the flavour, texture and visual appeal of the food'.

'But here's the thing - no-one knows the ingredients he uses to make them. I don't know how to describe it - it's like his clandestine condiment or something.'

Image: krakenimages (@krakenimages) | Unsplash Photo Community

Sam Allardyce to Run Venezuela

In an unexpected move, following the arrest and extradition of Nicolás Maduro, Donald Trump has announced that interim control of Venezuela will be taken by perennial stopgap Sam Allardyce.

Speaking from his command centre in the main ballroom of Mar-a-Lago while staff set up for lunch, the President told assembled journalists his reasoning, 'I needed someone who'd clean up the country,' he said. 'What better person to do that than a man who's made his entire career out of being a caretaker manager? Though we call them janitors here, not caretakers, not sure why, it's a good word, good word. Big Sam is a man after my own heart, taking over failing organisations, and leaving after twelve months having sent them even further down. Smart guy. He's also got great business sense, knowing how to get around rules and regulations to solve problems, and he lets his son carry the can when things go wrong. For me, it's like looking in a mirror, which I'd do if I cast a reflection.'

In Caracas, the newly-installed CEO of Trump Industries South America (formerly Venezuela) gave his thoughts at his surprise appointment. 'This isn't my first time trying to solve problems in destitution,' He remarked, 'Remember, in the past I've managed both Bolton and Sunderland. I'm not too keen on the uniform, and it's a bit over-the-top making me wear my playoff and division three medals all the time, but apparently the locals like a leader with a bit of razzmatazz. Things here will be alright, just as soon as I can convince them to play 4-4-2, and they let me appoint Kevin Nolan as my Vice-President. My only big question is, given this is South America, what's the wine production like in this country?'

Image: WixAI

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