Jeffrey Epstein’s amazing memory

A close associate of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein has been talking about his amazing memory.

She claims that Epstein had a photographic memory and never, for example, made a shopping list. ‘He’d remember everything. If he needed 101 things from the supermarket, he’d remember them all and wouldn’t forget a single thing. It was amazing.

‘He didn’t have an address book, because he could remember all the names and all the addresses, He’d do the Christmas cards himself, by hand, addressing all the envelopes from memory, without hesitation. He could remember all his friends’ birthdays and their anniversaries. And he’d remember the birthdays of all their kids, and how old they were. Jeffrey never forgot an eighteenth birthday.

‘His astonishing memory meant that he didn’t need to keep any contacts in his mobile phone. You could give him any name, and he’d just dial their number from memory. It was his party trick. He’d borrow someone’s phone and dial a number from memory – Donald Trump, Prince Andrew, whoever. The girls all loved it when he did that.

‘The news coverage about the so-called Epstein List makes me laugh. He would never have had a list. He would never have needed one. Never in a million years. He remembered it all in his head. No address book, no phone contacts – of course not!  He didn’t even keep his call history – he said that would be cheating.  He thought people would doubt his unbelievable memory if he kept any kind of records, so he didn’t.

‘So when Ghislaine Maxwell says that there was no Epstein List, I’m thinking ‘damn right there’s no list’.  Jeffery should have left his brain to science. Then the boffins could have worked out what made him so special.‘

Image: DeltaWorks - Pixabay

www.newsbiscuit.com

Mandela effect renamed Truss effect

The Mandela effect is a mass misrecollection of events where millions of people vividly remember something which never happened. Like the existence of the word misrecollection. It was first discovered in 1983 when everyone replied 'yeah, probably' to the question 'do you remember when Nelson Mandela pinched Bananarama's bottoms?'

It has since been recognised, however, that all who responded to the survey can't now remember what they had for breakfast. Even when reading this while eating their breakfast. Therefore, a whole new generation of people have been asked, 'do you remember when Liz Truss was Prime Minister?'

Professor Anna High from the Institute of Erm, Er, You Know, Thingy explained, 'Many people have a false memory of professional bonkers lettucehead Liz Truss being Prime Minister of Britain. It's clearly ridiculous, eminently untrue, and could be no more a reality than a flange of Not The Nine O'Clock News sketches.'

Professor Hannah Fry who is real and lovely and thoroughly respected confirmed, 'There was never anything called the Mandela effect. The whole thing is misremembered by lots of people. And misremembered is a real word. Rather, it is something which is technically termed a Trap Street, when the London A to Z inserted non-existent roads into their maps to catch rotters out who were copying their science and claiming it as their own work. People who remember living on those roads don't actually exist themselves.

'So the Mandela effect is in itself a Mandela effect, which is a beautiful event horizon of infinite butterflies within butterflies where science becomes art and quiz question setters don't know where they stand.'

Picture credit: Wix AI

Ain't technology fantastic?