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The government has been quick to announce the crackdown on fake reviews on Amazon and other online sales sites, but has been incredibly quiet about the suppression of the metropolitan Police's reviews regarding PartyGate.


The Met has claimed that it has entered a period of Purdah and cannot provide advice that might favour or otherwise any political party. This despite the May elections being advertised at least a year in advance and almost as long to review the evidence of law breaking that took literally minutes in the hands of beat policemen and women everywhere else in the UK, indeed even in the streets around Westminster at about the time of the alleged parties.


When challenged a Metropolitan Police spokesman agreed to provide a review of PartyGate offences progress. 'Five stars,' he said, adding, 'the idea of bringing your own booze was a cracker.'


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Following Boris Johnson's trip to Kyiv and his promise to assist Zelenskiy with more weapons, the Met Police have sent almost their entire stock of fixed penalty notices to Ukraine. It is expected these will be put on Russian tanks parked on double yellow lines. As a consequence, the force has so far only been able to issue 50 fines to low-ranking Partygategoers.


The Met was unable to to say when it expects to get further supplies to replenish its stock, as they are apparently printed in the EU and may well be among the goods delayed by the queue of trucks waiting to board ferries.



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