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With another major winter storm blowing across the country, a man has been busy sweeping up leaves, despite claims he’s ‘Sisyphean’ and ‘an idiot’. Derek Drummond said ‘The answer isn't blowing in the wind, it's leaves. What if some of them blow on to a railway line? That will mean HS2 goes another £10 billion over budget and is only able to serve Tory constituencies. I’d say about 52% of the leaves in my garden have left, with 48% remaining. The leaver leaves have made a mess all over the floor, so I’m helping the environment by sweeping these biodegradable leaves into a single use plastic bag.’ On hearing that there’s a lot of blow, Michael Gove was seen to noticeably perk up. Acquaintances say the prospect of snow drifts had him 'dancing like a Tory Bez'.
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/publicdomainpictures-14/
Oshaughnessy - Nov 22, 2021
Updated: Jan 11, 2022
The world's leading backstabbing Tory and stray bottle of minge deodorant, Michael Gove, shattered all records at this year's televised charity extravaganza.
Boldly going where no Secretary for Levelling Up, Housing and Whatever has been before, he danced non-stop for 48 hours, raising almost a penny an hour. This is roughly the same amount that Mr Gove believes should be the UK's minimum hourly wage rate.
Mr Gove said he hoped the money would be put to good use, such as helping councils shut down foodbanks and padlocking children's playgrounds at weekends.
His former wife, Sarah Vine, commented that she was delighted for Michael, but it was pretty obvious why she'd decided to divorce the idiot.
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