In the absence of RAF planes operating in the region, the US have resorted to shooting their own planes down.
'As a matter of principle we prefer to shoot down Allied aircraft, but with only Israel taking part it's difficult. We wouldn't dare shooting down one of Bibi's,' said a US spokesman.
'We're hopeful the UK will join us soon, as we're running out of our own planes to down,' he added.
And it came to pass that Israel, spoilt child of America, waxed exceeding wrath at the Persians and smote them with all the stuff that America had given them.
And lo, they slew the supreme leader, whereupon they and their sugar daddy Donald fell to gloating and cackling whilst amongst the chief Persians there was a wailing and a gnashing of teeth.
And then the Persians waxed wrath and smote all the countries around them which were America's allies - which wasn't the plan. Verily, it was not the plan at all.
Then the neighbouring countries waxed wrath at America and their batshit crazy leader Donald, saying unto him:
'Behold the state of these luxury hotels which the Persians smote in retaliation for you smiting them.
'Who in the name of arse is going to stay in them now? You've totally ruined our tourist industry, you demented monkey boy.
'Now sod off out of our lands and take all your naval bases and air bases with you. With friends like you, who needs bleeding enemies?
And Donald waxed wrath at this unintended consequence, and wailed and gnashed his teeth for forty days and nights on Fox News. But verily, he had no one to blame but his stupid self.
Here endeth the lesson.
Months on from his infamous speech, Sir Keir is adamant that he did not misspeak and that Oct 7th was all about bangers- and not the bomb kind. While Hamas have agreed to release Israeli hostages, Starmer is insistent that the sausages be released first. A spokeswoman for No.10 said: 'Sir Keir has been clear from the start. No sausages. No deal. And yes, he would like some chips with it.'
'It is inconceivable to suggest he said sausages by accident, because he was cynically exploiting a massacre while thinking about breakfast. The PM has always backed the bratwurst. He condemns Hamas, who are probably all vegan anyway.'
'He remembers clearly a string of sausages and being chased by a crocodile. The audience were shouting at him. His wife, Mrs Judy, hit him with a stick and-hold on...yup...yup...it was a dream. Sorry, as you were.'
