Trump making peace deal with his imaginary Iranian friend

'I've been holding talks with a high level Iranian, the very highest," Donald Trump told worried-looking reporters on the South Lawn of the White House.

'I call him Kebab. He agrees with everything I say, so we'll have a peace deal soon with Iran handing over all its oil and its nuclear fuel and letting me build a casino on the Persian Gulf.

'I'll be calling it the Trump Hormuz, in honour of my great victory there."

Iran has said that in the real world no member of its government has been speaking to Trump.

'It's not unusual for presidents regressing into their second childhood to have imaginary friends,' said a White House spokes-shrink, trying to reassure the press.

'President Trump has a whole load of helpful voices speaking to him from inside his head.

'They told him to bomb Iran. They told him the 2020 election was stolen. They told him to have sex with Stormy Daniels.

'What's that, Mr Trump? Launch a nuclear strike on Tehran? Well, if that's what your friend Mr Trident told you to do, then you must go ahead and do it.'

Donald Trump is 79 nuclear winters old.

Image credit: perchance.org