NATO officials state that there's 'nothing to see here' as they decide to play war games on the Russian border. 'We play war games all the time - in the US, on Salisbury Plain, in South Germany; so we just felt it would be fun to amass about a thousand spare tanks on the Russian border about five hundred miles north of the Russian/Ukraine border. We've been playing "spot the 3%" today and think we know where about 2.97% of it is,' said an American five-star general.
'We're not war-mongering, we're just on a day trip,' suggested a British Major. 'Belarus looks interesting, might pop over with a brigade or two later.'
All NATO commanders have ruled out nipping into St Petersburg - until Wednesday at least. As the tanks revved up the commanders were apologetic at cutting the interview short. 'As they say around here, Moscow,' said one commander.