The waiting list for tests has risen steadily since 2019 and now stands at over half a million applicants.
Rather than pointing out there are always spare tests available in the Orkneys, the government is proposing a more radical approach – self certification.
Under plan drivers would have to clock up a pre-determined number of hours on any approved driving game, such as Grand Theft Auto or Crazy Taxi 2, and to pass (or pay someone to pass for them) a theory test. After this, new drivers would self-certify that they are safe to drive and would display SCUD plates (self-certified untested driver).
This will allow new drivers on the road, so that they can drive to new jobs, joining rolling roadblock motorway protests and take up dogging.
An AA spokesman commented: 'One advantage of the new arrangements is that candidates will be able to drive themselves to take the official test, and also that really terrible drivers will probably die before they take the official test, reducing waiting times for others.'
It's understood different arrangements will apply in Northern Ireland, as you will know if you have ever driven there.