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The four-man gang who carried out the daring daylight raid on the Louvre say that, although the seven-minutes it took is a personal best, they are now aiming to shave at least one, two or even three minutes from their next job.


Gang member Gaston Leroi, not his real name, posted on social media: 'The sub-four-minute heist has long been the goal of museum and gallery thieves, ever since Roger Bannister broke the four-minute barrier in Oxford in 1954 with three stolen textbooks from Blackwell’s stuffed down his shorts.'


Police believe the thieves are likely to have retreated to their training ground deep in the French countryside, and are asking farmers to keep an eye on any outbuildings. The gang has said they are happy to undergo a drugs test to prove they did not use any performance enhancing substances during the Louvre raid. 'Thieves who do that are cheating,' Leroi added. 'It’s dishonest.'


Meanwhile, the truck that carried the mechanical ladder has received a €100 parking ticket and there is continuing disagreement over who will pay. The museum has scribbled ‘Sarkozy to cover’ on a note underneath one of the wipers.



Image credit: Benh LIEU SONG, Wikimedia Commons, licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0





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A giant quarry possibly as much as 30 years old has been discovered in Oxfordshire on the site of some dinosaur footprints.  The quarry has been left intact and seems to have been used by trucks, diggers and tippers to remove limestone.  "Once we level the dinosaur footprints we'll have a clearer view of just what we have found," said Emma Nichols from Oxford University's Museum of Natural Quarries.  "It's certainly the biggest find of its kind in Europe."


Story by: rogt

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A psychotherapist who studied footage of both Trump’s birthday parade and the No Kings protests, which took place all over Yankeeland, has told Newsbiscuit he fears for the morale of the US military.


“The difference between the joy, or lack of, on the participants’ faces was striking” he said. “The No Kings protesters were clearly having a ball, whereas those taking part in the military parade looked sullen, with no spring in their step. They reminded me of the way I felt when my wife dragged me on a shopping exhibition in Oxford Street to buy a new frock. I watched Full Metal Jacket when it came out; and saw cheerier faces on the troops being abused by the drill sergeant than on those poor bastards, dragging their feet along the parade route.”


A Newsbiscuit journalist commented “Even the guardsmen attending King Charles Birthday Trooping the Colour extravaganza didn’t look disappointed at being told it wasn’t really his birthday, and they wouldn’t get jelly and ice cream when the marching was over.”


A spokesfreak from the San Francisco chapter of the No Kings protests told us, “Peace is wild, man” as he gathered flowers to wear in his hair.



image from pixabay


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