Brave City Boss struggles by with 16% pay rise

As many workers in the UK need financial snookers to get to the end of each month, business leaders have been publicly empathising.

FTSE 100 CEO Oscar Oldroyd said 'My pay has only gone up to only £500,000 this year. Oh, my mistake, not up to £500,000, up by £500,000 to nearly £4 million. I am doing my bit though. I quite regularly have the air con turned down at my second tax-adjacent holiday villa in the British Virgin Islands.'

'In order to help fight inflation, I support the government refusing to budge on pay deals for nurses, doctors and whoever. These public sector do-gooders must accept responsibility for the fiscal problems that they didn’t cause. Haven’t they learned anything from the 2008 crisis?'

Image from pixabay

Hey, Nige! Did you hear about Alison Rose's £2.4m payout?

Junior Doctors' strike enables them to see their families

The Junior Doctors' strike means many are actually getting a full night's sleep and have reconnected with friends and family they haven't seen for years.

One said 'My eyes have adjusted to sickly hospital strip lighting. Normal daylight gives me headaches. Unfortunately I can't prescribe myself the good gear because I ain't no scab - little medical joke there. The over-the-counter stuff is much less over-the-rainbow.

'Also I'd forgotten you could feel rested and not veer from shift to shift in a constant state of existential horror. I've been home! It turns out I have a nephew! He is 8. I also have a now ex girlfriend - turns out she left me several years ago.'

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