Aliens who have been hiding in plain sight for millennia and controlling every aspect of human endeavour have broken cover to deny the spaceship named 3I/ATLAS is a spacecraft and is really just a comet.
Unzipping his human exoskeleton to reveal his lizard body the leader of Reform stated clearly that any similarities between the comet and a spacecraft are coincidental and there is nothing to worry about, other than it being on a crash vector certain to wipe out all civilised life in about three month's time.
He also added that impact would absolutely confirm that Reform would be elected to lead the next government.
image from pixabay
Having fired probes into oncoming asteroids, NASA is hopeful they can knock Donald Trump out of his political trajectory. Warned one scientist: 'A large orange ball is heading right for the White House and every time Joe Biden opens his mouth, this lump picks up momentum.'
The impact of Trump would be seismic, with liberals flattened in every direction. Last time he created a crater the size of Manhattan - and that was just the indentation his arse left on the memory foam mattress.
'If hitting it with a probe won't make him budge, we can always send the FBI round again.'
First published 27 Sep 2022
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