'Yes, hooray, we now have a policy and it's a big juicy one.
'After months in the wilderness with no policies, the Tories are back, with a bang.
'Not health, not justice, not education, not tax. No. This policy is about planning. The policy is no change of use for hotels without planning permission. This is an absolute game changer. This will win an avalanche of votes. It's not anti-immigrant or anti-asylum-seeker. It's not pandering to white working class poor people. This is about the proper use of the planning system.
'No need for any other policies. No need to be a thoughtful and challenging opposition to the government. No need to fear scary Nigel any more. Gamechanger!
'Do I think that people will notice that we are opportunistic, mean-spirited and morally bankrupt. No. People are smarter than that.
'Do I think that people will notice that we don't have anything useful to offer on any of the big issues of the day. Yes. But who cares. The election is ages away.'
