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Police accused of covering up second parts of proverbs

Having been rocked by a series of scandals, police commissioners have dismissed calls for institutional reform, blaming criminal acts on 'a few bad apples' and ignoring the full phrase, 'a few bad apples spoil the barrel'.

Now, a police whistle-blower has uncovered shocking evidence that ignoring the second part of proverbs is widespread throughout the force. Speaking anonymously, they said, 'This policy has caused real harm. Officers' key performance indicators are now: two wrongs; more haste; better late. The policy of 'don't judge a book' has both harmed investigations and led to Margaret's reading group being disbanded. Whilst guidance that you CAN take a horse to water but you CAN'T make an omelette has just caused confusion'.

A police spokesperson responded to the accusations, saying, 'Leaking internal documents is a serious matter and when we find the whistle-blower, we will be testing the proverb, 'if you can't beat them'.'

Author: dantrobus

Image: Katelyn Greer (@katelyn_g) | Unsplash Photo Community