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Further to the news that Parliament has refused to disclose how many porn sites were blocked on Parliamentary work computers, the House of Commons library has revealed it has started stocking "top shelf" publications.


The official line is that the two decisions are unconnected, but one source within the library said that's it's hoped, with the introduction of these hardcopy "specialized" titles, the number of visits to porn sites on the Parliamentary Estate will reduce, even if visits to the toilets increase.


It's a move that, unlike the recent "decolonising" or rather "diversifying" of the library's collection, has been welcomed by many MPs, the majority of them Tory, as the publications are resolutely British in flavour; or as one red faced MP put it, 'the collection leans towards extolling the virtues of the hard working housewives of Britain'.


When asked if the House of Lords library would be following suit a spokesperson for the Lords said they were minded to avoid any additional excitement for their older Members, but reports that the Lords library has processed more online subscriptions to Farmers Weekly; a title that has become inexplicably popular recently.


Author: wileyp

image from pixabay

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he government has admitted they feel under some pressure to maintain the high standard of scandals that the public have come to expect.


A Downing Street spokesman explained, "Corruption, indifference, sex, incompetence, porn, it feels like we've done everything, so we've set up a committee to plan the next one. It will be chaired by Chris Grayling. Ah."


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Following the scandal of MPs downloading illicit material, it now transpires that one Minister may have been using the Prime Minister and Sir Keir Starmer as unwitting props.


Confessed the MP: ‘I just started uploading clips of their exchange, with provocative titles. It started with ‘Big Boy Boris gets a spanking’ and ended up with ‘Nation gets shafted’. With Boris and Keir, I couldn’t think of a larger pair of c$nts’


Image from Pixabay by StockSnap


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