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Stamp-ing out Post Office injustice

After buying some Post-its from cashier number 4 please, Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst attempted to clarify the Government's position on the Post Office's Horizon IT scandal:


'As a rule, the Conservative Party is all about ruining people's lives, and we certainly couldn't care less if the wrong people are in jail. Actually, this scandal was briefly mistaken for government policy. However, now that there has been a sympathetic ITV drama, we must be seen to pretend to care.'


'In fact, Rishi Sunak is keen to keep the name of former Post Office chief executive Paula Vennells in the news, as she's one of the few people in the UK now more unpopular than he is. To "punish" her, we will take the CBE away from the CEO. Taking away that valueless trinket ought to really show we mean business - it will give the victims their freedom, reputations and lives back. We won't take away her money or put her in jail though. That's for little people.' 


A Met Police statement said 'We are sorry for whichever particular miscarriage of justice this is. Not sorry enough to have investigated it thoroughly at the time or in the years later, but exactly sorry enough to look into it now that ITV have made it embarrassing that we haven't. And also done all the detective work for us.' 


Hootington-Hurst added 'Compensation is still a little way over the Horizon. Cheque's in the post.'




Post Office scandal: Rishi Sunak considers how to get justice for victims of the Royal Courts

Measures are being considered by the government to clear the names of hundreds of sub-postmasters convicted by Royal Courts of "Justice" in the Post Office Horizon scandal.


More than 700 branch managers were taken to the Royal Courts of "Justice", and convicted of false accounting theft and fraud based on faulty software.


Fewer than 100 people have had their convictions quashed.


The prime minister said the government was reviewing options - including stripping the Post Office of its role in the appeal process - and setting up a radical new form of court which is designed to find the truth and deliver actual justice.





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