Michelle Mone may be aware of £122 Million Gown Fraud verdict

PPE Medpro is to payback the £122,000,000 to the government for gown fraud. The agreement is to pay £100 a month for the next one million years. There are also the additional costs and interest to pay back, which may mean an additional £2 a month.

Michelle Mone, who is somehow still a f@cking Baroness, and is definitely linked to the struggling gown fraud company, is probably currently being super remorseful on her yacht. The yacht is undoubtedly called The Jolly Gown Fraud and was paid for in good honest money that was earnt in a way that no way defrauded the UK government via supplying unsuitable medical apparel.

You don’t get that kind of boat money by deceiving the Department of Health and Social Care in a time of crisis by passing off unfit-for-use robes that endanger people, no sirree bob, you get it from selling pants. Probably unsafe pants, dipped in COVID. That’s a guess, maybe one of the less dangerous strains at least.

Apparently, endangering lives by vile, opportunistic garb swindling still allows you to keep your peerage. You only lose it if the crime is worth over 1/8th of a billion pounds, luckily, she was just shy of that limit.

Crime never pays folks.... maybe we should Stop The Big Fancy Boats as they seem to be the ones containing undesirables.

Image: voltamax - Pixabay

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Con artist to exhibit major series of collages

A new attraction, due to open at the Tate Modern in August, features the work of artist, Dick Scratcher, who specialises in collages of newspaper headlines and speeches from disreputable politicians. Mr Scratcher describes himself as a con artist, since he works through the medium of con tricks played on the public by politicians.

Among the works on display, will be 'Big Society', a montage of the Cameron years when the public was told the nation is all in the shit together, without explaining how the privileged would prosper beyond their wildest dreams; 'Brexitmania', a retrospective of the myriad promises that leaving the EU would definitely bring; and 'Never Give a Sucker an Even Break', a work showing the history of how NHS PPE supplies were deliberately run down, so a cabal of criminals could scam the nation out of billions of pounds with unusable protective equipment.

The Tate Modern is offering the public the chance to suggest a creative name for the exhibition, with entries closing on June 30, and says it is hoping for more inventive suggestions than 'Tory Scum', which is the best the curators could come up with themselves. A full list of exhibits, with a description of what they represent, will be published in due course.

Picture credit: deep dream generator

Civil Service reels as higher level apprenticeships are scrapped

The Civil Service is horrified that the government has scrapped funding for higher level apprenticeships and for older apprentices.

A spokesman said, ‘The Civil Service has an excellent record of delivering apprenticeship places. Everyone in HR is doing an apprenticeship. The government is funding their MA courses and their PhD’s that are essential in getting them well paid jobs in the private sector.   Without the apprenticeship scheme, all these stupid old duffers won’t get any qualifications, and they will just hang around and block promotion for younger staff.

‘All professional functions will be affected – procurement, facilities management, organisational development, finance, talent management, equality and disability officers, LGBTQ+ champions, records management, and communications experts – all the critical back office functions that keep the Civil Service show on the road. This is a tremendous blow.  Without the apprenticeships to keep them busy, these people will be back in the office thinking up new and stupider ways to bugger up the Civil Service.

‘Thankfully, policy work is not affected.  All our policy staff are essentially untrained, including those with degrees in PPE from Oxford University.   They have always argued that their lived experience from the University of Hardly Any Knocks is the best training for thinking up dim-witted policies for their ministers. 

'So, going forward in the new world without funding for apprentices, policymaking will continue to be done by shadowy think tanks, and the civil servants will continue to present this work as their own.’

Picture credit: Wix AI