The Price Cap: This winter's must have fashion accessory

Forget thermal underwear, layering up, spending the entire day draped in a fleece onesie, wearing mittens or a scarf to try to keep warm this winter. Instead get in with the in crowd and snap up this year's exclusive must wear fashion accessory, the Price Cap.

As featured extensively on Lorraine, Good Morning, Loose Women and widely on most news channels, the Price Cap is available from a variety of different companies and with a huge range of price options. It will allow you to be on point with your winter fashion and control your energy usage.

Not to be confused with the flat cap which is far more stylish, or the Dutch cap which offers better protection, made from material that is as believable as a Boris Johnson statement in the House of Commons and is as long lasting as early morning dew, the Price Cap is the latest in a line of fast fashion wear. It follows on from the 'Get Brexit Done' button, and precedes the soon to be released Liz Truss Halloween mask.

With a new version appearing almost every week, the Price Cap will provide a never ending range of options to mix and match with other clothing, so that you are always up to date with ever-changing energy fuelled fashions.

Boris Johnson's plan to solve cost of living crisis is bold new initiative called 'Herd Immunity'

Highest seat of public protection in the land, Number 10 Downing Street, issued the following statement with a sigh and a tone of condescending irritation:

'Look, stop shivering and do try your best to listen up over the sound of your rumbling tummies. We are spending outrageous amounts on PR cut-through to ensure that you are all aware of our fabulous never-seen-before plan called Herd Immunity.

'This bold new initiative only appears to be exactly the same as doing absolutely nothing, as you are not looking at it from the perspective of scamming millions out of the public purse for yourselves.

'If you are really poor, then simply switch to Fortnum & Mason's own brand gateaux. But you must follow government advice on this and under no circumstances are you to touch it. Just leave it on the table uneaten next to the 17 empty bottles of Dom Pérignon, and ensure your housemaids keep the vintage wine fridge fully stocked.'

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/shutterbug75-2077322/