Leveling Up: If Liz Truss can be PM any idiot can

Giving hope to nitwits everywhere, the Foreign Secretary has thrown her hat in the ring - the one that says dunce on it. Running to be Prime Minister, she promised low taxes and a better sheep's bladder, to hit herself over the head with.

Said one aspiring blockhead: 'I always felt I was under qualified to run a country, or even a bath. But Liz has proven it's not what you know...um... that's it, that's the end of that phrase'.

Running under the slogan 'A village idiot but on a national level, Truss is said to be a frontrunner, provided she gets someone to help her with her shoelaces. Having put the dumb into referendum, she would now focus on getting into Number 10, just as soon as she had mastered numbers one through to nine.

image from pixabay

More candidates for PM come forward

Rees-Mogg rules out throwing his pith helmet into the ring

Jacob Rees-Mogg has revealed he has no intention of throwing his Victorian pith helmet into the ring, as the number of Tory leadership candidates surges.

The MP for North East Somerset, and Right Honourable member for at least 250 years ago, said it's a lovely old hat and chucking it on the floor would wreck the thing.

"While there have been numerous members suggesting I stand, I feel now is not the right time," said Rees-Mogg, 109, from on top of his penny farthing.

"I've even had Johnny Rotten backing me, Sadly, though, I don't want to ruin my pith helmet; it often accompanies me on family holidays to Prussia, Mesopotamia and the Sudetenland."

Some people have called for stricter rules on standing as leader, saying too many people have thrown their hat into the ring. At the last count, all but one Tory MP had put their name forward.