"We issued express orders to staff at Royal Lodge to turf out this inmate and deport him to secure accommodation in our category C Sandringham establishment," said a spokes-sceptre for Buckingham Palace.
"Unfortunately he has now gone missing, wearing only his old Garter Order robes and carrying a collection of jazz mags in a clear plastic bag.
"Apparently, the poor guy spent a long time outside the gates of Royal Lodge with a vacant look on his face, trying to get back in," continued the spokes-orb. "We had to wave him away four or five times, explaining that he'd been evicted.
"I don't think he understands stuff that well."
Eye witnesses in Windsor say they had encountered a grey-haired man in the streets asking directions to the railway station while telling passers-by: "I used to be a prince, you know".
"We are working on the assumption that he made his way to Pizza Express in Woking," said a bloodhound from Thames Valley Police.
"That's his happy place."
