Home Secretary, Priti Patel, has announced an order of 10,000 finger breaking robots to be stationed on the Sussex coast to discourage immigrants.
"We've all enjoyed watching videos of children being hurt, but when I saw the chess robot breaking a child's finger a light came on in my mind and after I'd finished laughing, I jumped into action."
The robots are being deployed in what is known as Project Rwanda at a cost of £1,000,000,000 each.
image from pixabay
Updated: Jul 20, 2022
A spokesperson for the Home Secretary has confirmed that Olympic Gold medallist Sir Mo Farah is to be deported to Rwanda. 'The Home Secretary is very clear on this - Sir Mo has admitted to entering the UK illegally, has lied about his citizenship and has deprived other UK runners of gold medals. In her opinion he needs to be on the next flight to Rwanda, and sharpish. In the meantime he will be tagged and his trainers will be confiscated, in case he does a runner - boy that man can be quick,' he said.
The Home Secretary is said to be mindful that her days to be mean are likely limited and sees this as the crowning accolade to her career. The spokesperson added, 'of course the gold medals will be awarded to a suitable British sportsman to ensure the UK keeps it's medal tally for the 2012 Olympics. The Home Secretary is said to be leaning to award them to outgoing Prime Minister Boris Johnson who, unlike Sir Mo Farah, has been consistently truthful all through his career. Sorry, consistently untruthful. But at any rate, consistent.'
image from pixabay
