With talk of Armageddon rife across the globe, a new poll published this morning reveals the majority of Britons would prefer to endure the rigours of a third world war, rather than see the return of Boris Johnson to frontline politics.
Analysts admit the findings are puzzling, particularly when the results show 99% in favour of a global conflagration, while just 1% was unsure.
One Tory Party member who wished to remain anonymous said: 'After his monumental blundering incompetence over Covid, in all honesty I'm not entirely surprised by this. I mean it's true, we'd have to sacrifice bananas, put up with rationing and get used to powdered egg again. But these are small inconveniences compared to, albeit highly unlikely, Boris returning to take the helm during another international crisis.'
