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People challenge Sunak's mince pie conundrum



Following the release of a video of Prime Minister Rishi Sunak buying six packs of mince pies at a railway station in London, apparently for 'essential public sector workers', many members of the British public have challenged the video's purpose.


'Is he suggesting that there are only 36 people in the public sector worthy of a mince pie?' asked David from Basildon, 'or is he expecting to provide all the worthy members of the public sector a microscopic crumb?' he added.


Other questions include 'did he know he had to pay for those? Did his contactless card efforts work this time? Where the fuck do you park a helicopter in a railway station anyway?


Illuminati go on strike



Following on from other public sector workers, our shadowy overlords have demanded that human sacrifices keep pace with inflation. Said one lizard: 'In real terms we have had a 20% cut in demon summonings. And we've already had a national shortage of hooded robes.'


The strike day will see an absence of government manipulation, control of our media or support of Prince Andrew. Their unconventional picket line will be in the shape of a pentagram and can only be crossed if you have the right cantrip.


Their Union leader, a Mr. S. Atan, explained: 'We expect the minister to come to the table. Not to negotiate but to have their still beating heart, cut from their chest. Oh, and we'd like flexible working hours as well.'



image from pixabay

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