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Secret film emerges of Prince Charles rehearsing Coronation ceremony




Video, taken from a hidden camera on the Prince of Wales’s Highgrove estate, has emerged, seemingly showing the heir to the throne taking part in a mock Coronation ceremony.


He is surrounded by flunkeys wearing masks of the world leaders, and one wearing what appears to be a tea cosy on his head playing the Archbishop of Canterbury.


While Charles regally processes up and down the garden path, Camilla can be seen practising a Royal wave or two.


A spokeslackey commented, “His Royal Highness feels with covid rampant, and the very, very elderly still vulnerable, he needs to be prepared for any and every eventuality. Mind you; he has been doing this every week for the past twenty years now.”



First published 21 Dec 2021


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Palace uncertain what to do about cash hidden in Queen's mattress




Buckingham Palace staff have discovered around £1bn stuffed in a mattress in the Queen's bedchamber. "We always knew she kept a few bob hidden away in there" a footman reported. "But we never knew it was this much. Now we have a dilemma, because it's all in paper notes, which cease to be legal tender at the end of September."


A spokesperson for the Treasury said: "Large amounts of cash is usually indicative of money laundering, which when it comes to light, normally involves vigorous investigation, but since the queen is dead, there seems very little point in pursuing the matter."




First published 20 Sep 2022


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Civil service 'seriously considered' telling Queen that bears defecate in woods



Senior civil servants 'seriously considered' telling the Queen that bears sh*t in the woods and that the Pope is a Catholic, according to the BBC's Laura Kuennsberg.


Furthermore, says Kuennsberg, they seriously considered telling her that Boris Johnson was behaving in office like a gallivanting elephant out of its head on amphetimines.


'There would have been no other way for Her Majesty to have known how disgracefully irresponsible and chaotic her prime minister was,' continued Kuennsberg.


'Apart from by opening a newspaper, watching the telly, listening to the radio or speaking to any other human being in Britain during the time that Boris was in Downing Street.


'Or by meeting him, I suppose,' added Kuennsberg.


'Two minutes in Johnson's company would have told her everything about this reckless, blundering oaf that she'd ever have needed to know.'



First published 19 Sep 2023


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