After their success with the Strait of Hormuz, Iran said it would be happy to assist President Trump with his next humiliating U-turn. Obviously, each reflects things back slightly distorted, whether it’s the Washington Monument or the entire concept of geopolitics. And both could, in theory, be described as strategically shallow but symbolically deep.
They have an alarming tendency to become the centre of global attention despite being, at heart, just… water doing very little. Subsequently they are indirectly responsible for people standing around explaining things they don’t fully understand—with an uncomfortable amount of posturing involving flags.
Benjamin Netanyahu is said to be alarmed by any US/Iran cooperation and has threatened to bomb a neighbouring duck pond to disrupt their plans. He warned that both waterways contain objects you really shouldn’t touch—one because it’s vaguely slimy, the other because it’s extremely explodey. Regardless, Trump insisted that the US could control both… he's just letting Iran have a go. This is demonstrating his strategic commitment to outsourcing—why control something when you can just dip your toes in—provided you don't mind catching algae-foot.
Image: MarkThomas - Pixabay
After an Apache AH-64 crashed into the Washington Monument whilst strafing the algae with it’s 30mm chain cannon, the USA agreed to a cease fire and reparations to the algae in the Reflecting Pool.
ICE Agents had initially been instructed to detain and then send the menace back to Algeria. After repeated attempts to cuff the algae and beat it with truncheons, ICE had to retreat when agents electrocuted themselves whilst trying to TASER some of the unicellular organisms.
A SWAT team was called in, who then fired indiscriminately into the pool, wounding several of the photosynthetic organisms and a passer-by. The algae remained stoic and unmoved, causing the SWAT to request the National Guard. It was at this point after releasing all 16 Hellfire missiles into the pool the Apache smashed into the Washington Monument and Trump declared victory.
The full terms of the so-called Peace Deal are that the algae will retain control of the pond and be supplied with $300,000,000,000 worth of nitrogen and phosphorus and be guaranteed to sunlight.
Image: sjr4x4 - Pixabay