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People's Democratic Republic of America flirts with concept of democracy

'Sure, why not?' said Secretary General Dick Traitorship. 'When we overthrow the evil Democrat leadership in a military coup by storming the Capitol Building and the White House, we will restore some form of free and fair election system.


'The main problem with democracy is the electorate. Despite all the evidence that their votes count for nothing, some people still can't stop themselves voting for a Democrat Dictatorship. They seriously fear freedom, which I know many will find hard to comprehend outside the People's Democratic Republic of America.


'It might sound ridiculous to some, perhaps even like a dangerous thing to say, but we need to be more open, fair and progressive. Like Russia, China and North Korea.


'We must continue to support and revere our Most Benevolent General Secretary of the Republican Party, Donald Jesus Trump. He will 'fix' everything, put an end to people ageing and dying, and instantly bring world peace. He is the only one who can lead a glorious revolution and install a Thousand Year Democracy in this great land.'


image from pixabay

Republicans withholding funds until they can have a nice shrubbery to go with their wall




Republican Senators are still refusing to allow the Democrat government to release funds to assist Ukraine in their war against Russia until they have guarantees that their wall will have potted plants and a lovely barbecue area. 'Our demands must be met,' said Ronald Dump, Senator for the State of Female Bodies. 'We're not releasing one cent until the wall is lowered to a height so that I can look over it and tut at what the Mexicans are up to.


'And there should be American flags all along the wall. And holes. And the holes must be small enough not to allow tiny Mexicans through. But they should be big enough to poke the end of automatic weapons through. Or my penis. Just to see what happens.


'And when those demands are met, we'll still withhold the funds until we get a tasteful water feature, including a statue of a small boy peeing. And a door. My own personal door with an access key just for me. And then another wall, bigger and better than the first wall.'




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