Meghan and Harry in dispute with What 3 Words

Meghan and Harry are taking legal action against location service What 3 Words. Meghan says that the service should not allow users to identify their home in Montecito, California.

Meghan is particularly upset that the location of their house is identified by the three words useless.royal.losers

The company says that the identification words are entirely coincidental, and are generated without human intervention by a computer algorithm. It has pointed out that useless.royal.losers only identifies one three metre square area of Harry and Meghan's property. Other parts are identified by unrelated three word phrases such as james.hewitt.lovechild, smug.pointless.tossers and desperate.gormless.phonies.

Image: WixAI / Blur image online

Best of Newsbiscuit - March 2024

March 2024. We were all preoccupied with the looming elections both here and abroad, with plenty of media coverage for all the parties in the UK and for Donald Trump in the USA. The royals were going down like nine pins, and this generated a photoshopping scandal. Although - is scandal the right word? Bits continued to fall off Boeing aeroplanes. The UN called for a ceasefire in Gaza. That went well (irony). But they got there eventually. The Boat Race was a bit, err, unpleasant, after Thames Water refused to install motion sensors.

Here is a selection of the top stories that month, loosely organised by topic. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.

General Election

Galloway: "We'll take seats from labour, providing they don't stand, obviously" 

Tory election candidates: standards watered down again 

How dare you bully Diane Abbott, says Labour, that's our job 

Ofcom has launched an investigation into Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg's breeches

US Election

Trump: My 4-goal haul in 1966 World Cup Final will never be beaten 

Royal Family

Photo edited to imply Prince Harry has spine

Other Stuff

Boeing to use 'much stronger glue' in future 

Garrick Club doubles down and bans men as well as women 

Student with £231k loan has a brilliant plan to deal with it 

Murder victims required to draw chalk outline around themselves 

And here is a selection of the best headlines from March 2024

Diane Abbott: Tory donor was rude about me 30 times, no, 3000 times, no, 3 million times

Thames water bills must rise or dividends will dry up

Surveillance of dog kennels is dubbed a Snoopy's charter

UN Security Council calls for immediate ceasefire in Tory Party

Home Insulation Targets laid out in Government's New Draft Plan

Boat Race crews say they just went through the motions this year

Russian Presidential Election: Putin practising his surprised face

Photoshop applies for royal warrant

Sexual orientation acronym longer than alphabet

Spoonerism quipsters all ready for Psalm pun day

Picture credit: Wix AI

No bias against Northerners insists Buckingham palace

Annie, a 68 year old single lady from Huddersfield has just had her twelfth rejection letter from Buckingham Palace after applying for the role of lady of the Bedchamber, 10 times under Queen Elizabeth and twice under Queen Camilla. Annie’s last two applications were requesting a position as one of the Queens Companies, a change Camilla recently made to the job.

According to Annie, although the name has been changed, she believes the duties probably remain unchanged since the 1700’s and she has been practicing carrying full and empty Piss Pots up and down the stairs of her two bedroom terrace house for the last 20 years. Recently she had a fall whilst carry the Pot when it was full to the brim, but luckily it was only carrying Orange squash which she uses for authenticity.

A lifelong Royalist, Annie previously worked as a Lolly pop lady for 30 years and had once had high hopes of one day featuring in the Honours list, an MBE or an OBE based on her year’s service and having twice saved the lives of children on her zebra crossing.

According to reports, with no regard for her own safety, Annie literally pulled the children out of the way of speeding Lorries but as Huddersfield is around 200 miles from London and Annie doesn’t write for the Daily mail, her heroism was ignored.

Recently , it was explained to her by her local MP, the powers that be have deemed it inappropriate to have Northerners at the award ceremonies, speaking funny and shoving chip butties in their gobs and generally being loud. A spokesman pointed out that the north was well represented by Prince Andrew adding, 'and look how that worked out!'

Image: fotoblend - Pixabay

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Undeterred Annie is thinking of applying for a role as Pen carrier to King Charles or Tin Opener to Wills and Kate.