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WW3 is a small price to pay to escape Brexit




An advocate for a second referendum explained: 'I hear a lot of negativity about Nuclear winters, but who doesn't like to snuggle up, with a nice matching sweater from John Lewis? This is an opportunity to reject Brexit - after all, you can't leave Europe if there is no Europe to leave.


'We need to support the Ukraine and their affordable au pairs. Nuclear holocaust is backed by 48% of the public, which from my perspective, is a stonking majority'.




First published 3 Mar 2022


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Johnson will allow some refugees in UK but only in if they bid to play him at tennis first




Boris Johnson has told fleeing Ukranian refugees they would be able to enter the UK on a visa but only if they bid in an auction to play him at tennis and make donations to the Conservative party.


Mr Johnson said it was only fair that Ukranian refugees faced the same level of rigorous checks and balances that super rich Russian oligarchs faced when they first came to the UK.


Assessing the tennis skills of wealthy individuals wanting to become UK citizens had been a very effective way of establishing whether they were suitable or not. Other ways of assessing a persons character include a game of bridge with a Tory peer and attending a gymkhana event at your local pony club.


The PM said the plight of Ukranians fleeing their country was of great concern to the UK but they had to show just how serious they were about wanting to escape the threat of Russian bombs.


‘And what better way to show how desperate you are to escape death than to make a huge donation to the Conservative party’ said the PM ‘it shows a willingness to fit in.


And as a goodwill gesture to our Ukrainian friends we won’t be asking the women and children to establish their source of wealth’.




First published 12Mar 2022


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NewsBiscuit Car Review: The F-Rage (Independent supplier)


Just appalling.


This appears to be a one-off vanity project which is more of a concept rather than a practical solution to peoples actual needs. It runs badly, struggles in any condition apart from its own carefully crafted environment where it can do no wrong.


The F-Rage is meant to imply aggression and power but instead looks dated and is clearly a compensation vehicle.


The company itself has changed names several times, which doesn’t exactly scream reliability. The sales splurge made many promises, and it has failed to meet any practically. Some of the internals are purchased through Russian suppliers which should be a massive concern.


As for aesthetics, it is clearly references the older times, unfortunately taking the worst aspects of it. It does get positive reviews from people who believe the publicity and don’t really look at the details and its poor performance, and might do well because of that. It does not meet EU safety and environmental regulations and weirdly takes some sort of pride in not doing so. It would be a nightmare to run in London, more suited to rolling up a gravel drive and belching out filth.


Despite the promises of unbelievable performance, the figures indicate it will be uneconomical and end up breaking apart. Fixing it is practically impossible, it is mainly made up from used, broken scraps that are already past their time.


Because of single bloody mindedness, there will be no European version, the user must be sat to the right no matter how dangerous that may be.


Pros

A great talking point

Easily identifies the gullible

Cons

Rather than separate cons, it is just one big one.

An absolute menace with no redeeming features.


Image: Author's own

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